#i dont think i can survive

[gomzdrawfr]

cod mw3 spoilers ahead

cw: angst, MCD

edited: it did happen haha......

there was no goodbye there were no screams whispers of our name ceased no more "Simon" no more "Johnny" just an absence, sudden, abrupt, loud─── I always knew that time was ticking the inevitable was bound to happen One way or another and yet here I sit among the blanket of of your life seeping and coating what's left of me to savour and to embrace the last ounce of warmth from you I hear and feel the shards of glass broken, scattered and strewn inside me Pieces once made me whole Now only serve to break me more

rambles:

You know...it just watching that scene broke me...because the way Ghost called out to Johnny.

I know a lot of folks complained that it was rush and there were no build-up and cinematic scenes (as per the leaks) but the panic from Ghost's voice was palpable.

It was weak, and almost like a plea.

When he went and turn Soap's head....and to press his hand on the neck to see if he was truly gone or not.

AND here's the thing, it all happened so fast.

there was no time to accept and to really take in what happened.

They had bombs to diffuse, people to kill, Makarov to kill.

and hence the theme, "out of time"

and also hence why Johnny’s body wasnt drawn clearly

there was no time to accept his death, not until his ashes were scattered away

Yes, I know that they're soldiers, special forces soldiers and they were meant to act appropriately bUT LISTEN- GhostSoap's relationship mean so much to me...they literally are the reason my blog was born in the first place so LET ME GO DELULU

I didn't really cry and break down until they spread his ashes....god fucking damn im in so much pain

to think that the world is unaware, that the brightest soul is now gone

a home now gone.

As much as I am focusing on Ghost....i think the team will suffer tremendously as well cause think about it

Soap is their glue, the one who makes the tension lighter, the one who cracks jokes and raise their spirit

I think Price will be the next to be greatly affected by this, because back then he held Soap back when Soap wanted to shoot Makarov in the airport

It will be a grave mistake that he will carry for the rest of his life, he'll probably blame it all on himself.

He'll end up alone again.

oop might do a separate post for Price angst if i can survive.

[garlic-sauc3]

I'm going to fucking die

[hinamie]

thank u canon plant nerd megumi for my life

bonus:

[heartorbit]

searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!

[dykesbat]

help a palestinian doctor evacuate his three family members in gaza

vetted by operation olive branch (line 85)

$25,830 raised of $50,000 as of november 5

since this fundraiser has started back in early 2024, we've only managed to help fund the escape of dr moath and his mother, basma. three family members remain in gaza including moath's father and his two younger brothers.

please help his family. this fundraiser has been stagnating badly and i'm incredibly worried for yusuf, ahmed, and their father. we need less than $5000 in order to evacuate one of them. if you have any money to spare please please please contribute to this campaign.

[maskofnova]

I think its a rite of passage to make an au at least once, and ive been thinking super hard about how Sonic raised tails lately. So obviously an age swap au had to happen. Aka, the au in which they are both team turbo nerd and Tails needs a Vacation as a dire medical suggestion. (more rambling in tags)

[l0verseyes]

only fitting i end my ULTRACELLS set w/ this. i think

[thebrainrotsreal]

EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.

[starcrashedsatellite]

Tried to draw Shu in the style of Crymachina's ingame portraits

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[s0fter-sin]

ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it

he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this

he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up

soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone

(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)

soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight

the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes

it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”

(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)

it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that

“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close

ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship

hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself

soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming

instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started

and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips

[snekdood]

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

[radioelly]

this has been bouncing around my head like a screensaver for like. weeks. at this point. <- unwell

[queen0fm0nsterz]

So, (sits down at the table) (lights up cigarette) are we all ready to discuss how Six's lack of gender conformity in the beginning of the franchise can be read not only as an expression of her nonbinary identity but also an inherent refusal of what their assigned gender requires of her, which is why they are put in contrapposition with the Lady, whose name and role is inherently tied to her identity as a woman, and by refusing to abide to that standard Six challenges not only the structure of the Maw but also the basic concept on which the Lady based her entire life and identity on

[dooblebugss]

Fio I hope you don't mind me stealing your tags for the Ghost age poll but that's exactly how I feel too, you just worded it better djdhkesh

Like yeah they're a kid but they had to survive out in the wastes for who knows how long then they had to go to Hallownest and then they had to fight for their life literally the entire time

They're a little kid who's been forced to grow up!

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Hate to be the guy that goes "um, actually" but every time there's a poll on "what horror movie villain do you think you'd survive" there's always so many people who believe they would survive Chucky and use the excuse of "I could just kick him. He's a doll". First of all, he's not just a doll. His soul is in a doll, but the longer his soul is there, the more human he becomes and current day Chucky is more like a small human being than a doll. Second of all, he is notoriously difficult to kill. You can kick him all you want, that won't do shit. At best you'll buy yourself a few minutes to run. Chucky has survived being beheaded, being burned alive and melted. You're gonna have to work quite hard to kill him. Third of all, even if you do kill him, he will either come back or a different version of him is going to come for you. Now if you haven't seen all the movies/the show, Chucky transfers his soul into multiple dolls. It's possible for him to create like an entire army of Chucky dolls that want to kill. So even if you're lucky enough to get one, chances are there's another few coming for you. And even if there is only one, he comes back to life all the time. Fourth of all, he is violent as hell. If you try to kick him, he will stab your feet. Try to pick him up, he will bite you. He doesn't care. He might be small, but he's still quite strong and violent. Fifth of all, no one will help you until its too late. The reason Chucky is so efficient is because he looks to be just a doll and no one assumes he's alive. So he can run around and do whatever the hell he wants without consequences. Even if you witness him being alive, most likely no one will believe you when you tell them about it. Also since he's a doll, he can just pin any murders on you. Attack you, cover you in blood, and then, when the cops are coming, all he has to do is freeze. Sixth of all, he is patient. He will wait for weeks and months to kill, if need be. In the meantime he will manipulate and kill those around you. Also remember that him being small means he's also fast. Fast and small means he's harder to spot and catch once you know he's alive. In conclusion, no Chucky is not an easy killer to survive. You cannot think of him as a doll, but you have to think of him as a small, violent human being. You can't just kick him and run, that will not work. If you underestimate him because he looks like a doll, you will die.